Performance Is Not About Them

One of the things I like best about hypnosis, is the opportunity to practice with other hypnotists.

Yesterday, I practiced a pain management session with a fellow practitioner, and helped him reduce the intensity of pain in his right knee.

When we switched roles, he practiced ego states with me as the subject.

One question he asked was, “Is there anything you’d like to get better at?”

And that is when I said, “I’d like to get better at communicating what hypnosis is so it becomes more accessible to my audience without them being afraid of it.”

“How are you explaining it now?”

“I teach,” I said. “But I feel like I come across as a ‘know-it-all’ when I don’t. I’m no expert yet but I think some people think I think I’m better than them, and I am not.”

“How would you like to explain it?”

“In a fun way,” I said.

“What kind of fun?”

“The performance kind of fun. Like when I was in high school. I’ve always been a performer. I was in band, choir, and eventually theater. When I was performing, I didn’t care about what anyone was thinking. I only cared about the performance and putting on a good show.”

We could have ended the session right there because that insight was all I needed to get back on track.

I wonder how many of us have had similar experiences with band, choir, theater, or sports. When it was show time or game time, our head was in the game.

Sure, there are always going to be critics who don’t like a certain aspect of a concert, show, or game. But just because they don’t like that part, doesn’t mean they don’t like you.

When did other people’s opinions become so important that they became distractions for the things you do?

I wonder what would happen if instead we put all our focus into showing up and delivering a great show. How might we be perceived then? Would we get a standing ovation? Would people walk out? Do their actions and reactions really matter? And if they do, by how much? What’s more important: enjoying what you do or pleasing other people?

That’s a great question because it would be easy to think that giving a great performance is about getting the applause and recognition from fans. It’s as though performance in itself is about people pleasing. But what if giving a good show isn’t about pleasing others as much as it is about doing your best and feeling good and confident in your own skin?

This conversation was a key turning point for me. From now on, whenever I’m on a stage, or a camera is turned on, or when I’m delivering content, I plan to give the best performance of my life.